Happy Tuesday Friends!!!
I am so excited about this post today!!
As you know February is seen as ” Love Month BUT EVERY MONTH should be love month!!
In honor of Valentine’s Day, I got together with some of my absolute FAVE girl bloggers and we’re all sharing our marriage love stories.
Where do I begin?!? This is a long post!
Well first of all, y’all’s friend and I have been down since 1996!!!
I first met JP while I was at my sister’s house. My sister’s best friend said that he wanted to introduce us and then proceeded to say, he already knows you. Me being the feisty little thing I was said and with SO much sass, “he doesn’t know me”. Mind you, he was sitting right there in the same room and I had NO idea who he was!! We went back and forth and eventually when my sister’s friend left he looked back at me and said “that was JP right there”!!
I was so embarrassed!!! I had been stuffing my face with watermelon the entire time!! In my defense though, he looked much older than I did, so I just thought he may have been one of their friends.
Well fast forward a couple weeks and we were at a party my sister’s friend threw for his sister, I was extra cute that night with my short dress on!! Sorry that was before camera phones, but trust when I say that dress was everything!!
That night I had a walking spirit because I kept waking back and forth to the kitchen, getting food, getting my purse, getting something, but he saw me though! We exchanged numbers and talked a little.
We were babies y’all!!
Fast forward a couple years and in 1998, our son was born. We had no plans to get married. We had quite a few of our family members trying to push us to get married but neither one of us wanted to get married because of a baby, so we didn’t. We finally decided in 2001 that we wanted to get married, so we did. Nothing fancy at first, just us, our son, our immediate family and our pastor. That was 17 years ago!
Let me tell you right now, MARRIAGE AIN’T FOR PUNKS!! Yes I said ain’t!! It takes much patience, love, sacrifice, prayers and tears.
Some days we both wondered whether or not we made the right decision because we had some really really difficult times. I can honestly say, the good has outweighed the bad and I really like him. He’s my bff.
We’ve lost a child, a home, jobs, friends and things, but through all of that, God has kept us!
One of the things I love about us is the conversations we have. We have such good talks! You need to be able to talk with your spouse about pretty much anything.
We’re not experts nor are we perfect, but were perfect for each other.
If you’re looking to get married or maybe you’re having a hard time in your marriage right now, trust me I get it. We always said that years one through five would be the years that we would see what you’re really made of in these marital streets! If that’s you, hang on, it gets better! Here are a few things we committed to in the very beginning.
1. Divorce was not an option!
Not that we didn’t want to leave sometimes because TUH!!, but we knew that everything was pretty much figure-out-able EXCEPT abuse (we don’t play that)! We really wanted to make it work and so we took divorce off the table at the beginning.
2. Jesus is the center that keeps us together.
Listen you may know some people that do just fine and don’t acknowledge God, that’s good and I’m happy for them, but for these Patterson’s we knew God had to be the center of our lives and our marriage that kept us together.
3. We talk openly and honestly
I’ll be honest with y’all, this took work on my part. When I would get angry, I would clam up and shut all the way down. I don’t do that now, I’m able to say what I need to say without being ugly.
4. Respect is a non negotiable.
Respect your husband the way you would want to be respected!
5. Lots of sex….
Monday-Saturday and twice on Sunday!!! I’m kidding but not really!! Sex is HUGE!! I think I’ll share more on this later.
6. We’re going to date each other
That includes every week and weekend trips. We knew that time away from everyone and the kids to just reconnect was important for us.
7. Keep other folks out cha business
Listen to me, everybody’s a marriage counselor when you get married. Talking to others about you’re marriage isn’t a bad thing, but I suggest it be someone who’s been married, older and wiser that can give you sound advice and wise counsel.
I could go on and on but I’ll just leave that right here for now.
Please be sure to check out my other blogger sisters on this hop!! Next up is super sweet Nicole!!
Chat with y’all later!